Adefemi Olubayo: Two years later...still hurts

Every member of my family knows I'm poor in keeping memory of anniversaries: birthdays, weddings, deaths etc. By that I'm not only referring to those of friends and associates but also mine.

NO WAY!: Adefemi blocks Messi  Beijing Olympics football tournament

I'll have to get calls to be reminded of my birthdays or wedding anniversary by my siblings virtually every time and indeed one of them did that again just a few days ago to remind me it was her birthday. Initially they were struggling to cope with me, but now it appears they've come to understand I can't just help the situation. Well I've managed my memory very well, both academically and professionally anyway.

So it took late Olubayo Adefemi's ex-girlfriend (don’t bother me about her identity) to privately send me his picture to be reminded today was exactly the second anniversary since his shocking demise in 2011 in an auto-crash in Greece. I had to quickly put this together in memory of a late friend. It was a picture that epitomised his passion for the national team.

My relationship with Olubayo was a subtle professional affair that metamorphosed into a personal one. It started with my first interview with him in 2005 after he helped Nigeria to a runners-up finish at the FIFA World Youth Championship in Holland.

Led by Chelsea's John Mikel Obi, Olubayo played a key role in that competition which only took the genius of Lionel Messi's two penalties (he created and scored them) to help Argentina triumph over our Flying Eagles. It was a painful final but it was arguably the tournament that drew global attention to Messi’s genius, and profiled Olubayo and some of the top players today. Manchester City's Pablo Zabaleta was captaining the South Americans while his teammate Sergio Aguero was a second half subtitute in that final.

Olubayo's 70th minute goal followed by his rowing celebration in the semi-final against Morocco caught the eyes of many but he was colossal for the team throughout the competition. His appearance for Nigeria, three years later, at Beijing Olympics, where he was also ever-present, turned out another great experience but it took a Messi-inspired Argentina, once again, to stop Nigeria from a top finish.

From my 2005 experience with Olubayo, he appeared a down-to-earth person who was ready to work his way up his career to become a top footballer, even with his less flamboyant technical talent. "You know it's not easy for players like me who play in Israel to play for the senior national team even if you're good enough and this is my dream. I can see it's the players in top leagues who get the profile from the media, so maybe you look in our direction too," he told me in 2005.

I understood his feelings but advised him to keep working hard, and that I was confident he would make it to the Super Eagles. I wasn't just encouraging him, I really felt he had the right attitude and commitment to compensate for his limited skills to climb up the ladder. Every top manager likes such characteristics, most especially at national team level.

Why? Because the national team won't offer players the financial fulfilment they get at club level, where they earn their livelihood, so some intrinsic incentives are needed. Hence top coaches look for more than talents, especially as they have to bring together egos from different clubs, with ranks in wages. Those are some traits the current Nigeria coach, Stephen Kasha confirmed he didn’t feel with the duo of Obafemi Martins and Osaze Odemwingie, which made him, leave them out of the African Cup of Nations squad.

Olubayo Adefemi eventually played for the senior national team, featuring in the 2010 World Cup qualifiers before missing out on South Africa following the sack of coach Shuaibu Amodu, who was replaced by Lars Lagerback.  He was sad to miss the squad as he was looking forward to playing against Messi again.

“You think he would be running past our (Nigeria) defenders like he does in La Liga against those defenders who couldn’t put a foot in and stop his runs? We don’t fear him a bit and you saw that at the Olympics,” he told me after Nigeria were drawn against Argentina.

He was such a fearless fighter and a patriot. Adefemi was always relishing the national call and he served the country playing in different positions. He was loved by the coaches because he could adapt to situations in the team without moaning, without ego trouble.

The former Hapoel Tel Aviv and Rapid Bucharest defender was sociable too and had a good relationship with the media, as well as active on social media. He was simple and nice. Adefemi and I gradually grew close and I recalled he personally gave me a set of his national team kits on return from the Beijing Olympics.

Bayo, as I referred to him, would happily seek my advice on more personal matters and professional decisions as he gradually found me trustworthy, at a point asking if I could help him in securing an agent. I declined because I was conscious of my integrity as a journalist. I was frank to tell him I wouldn’t accept a remedial PR task ‘to defend you if you soil your image in the public domain.’ He never did.

Adefemi suffered some travails too. His spell in Bucharest ended in dispute after five months due to his unpaid wages. FIFA eventually granted his request to terminate the contract. He was also involved in a contract hitch with Austrian side, SC Rheindorf Altach before joining former French Ligue1, US Bolougne in June 2009 side. The situation didn't help his national team progress. He moved to Greek side Xanti after Bolougne were relegated and played as a regular until death.

I wept on hearing of his demise. It came a few weeks after our discussions on his wedding plans, during which I offered him some advice. It was a Facebook conversation (we spoke many times on phone too) and I was surprised when he told me this: “Do you know I have been forwarding your messages to my fiancée since? I found them helpful and I felt I should share them with her.”

Olubayo Adefemi was not only a great professional as a footballer, but also a wonderful man whose charming personality touched so many, including his childhood friends, with whom he remained in contact till his death. He died a hero… yet still feels he is still with us.